I guess you really just gotta let people know what you expect of them. And although your expectations aren’t high anymore, it’s important to ask for what you want in a relationship because unless you do —you’re putting someone else’s happiness before yours. I guess I’m trying to be happy again, and really to see if it’s even possible to do that. You can’t be afraid to tell someone what you want, because that’s your happiness —isn’t it?
I feel nothing.
the I’ll Make A Man Out Of You scene in Mulan is the most inspiring thing I’ve ever seen. And you’re fucking lying if you don’t agree with me.
I never have time, never have time, never have time —have you heard that excuse before? My T key is slightly broken. It’s okay you’re busy, cause if I was a robot and did nothing but homework and studying, I would probably have only have two hours of free time in the 24 hour day too. It’s okay you’re busy. It’s okay I’m busy. It’s okay we’re both busy. It’s the weekday. I don’t think I’m supposed to see you anyway, and that’s okay. Just get over it. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself this for the past three weeks. But every day the sadness still sneaks up on me. From now on, every day I will tell myself that the space between us is okay. That I shouldn’t expect to see you —and that I should get used to it. All I know is I’m done blocking out time just for you, just in case you want to see me, just in case you have time to. It’s fine to be busy. It’s fine to have space. That’s what I keep telling myself, anyway. School is kicking my ass but didn’t I already know that was coming? Suck it up Seanie and realize what’s really important, and make time for that instead of the imaginary plans that never happen. This isn’t the most mature reaction, but it is for me.
if there’s one thing I learned last night it’s that you don’t know shit about anyone. Ever.
and when you tell me that I am everything I’m supposed to be, everything you want me to be and everything you need me to be, I fall in love with you all over again.
I could cry for six hours like I did three weeks ago but that wouldn’t change anything. Yeah, I can’t see the end of the tunnel. Yeah, I haven’t felt normal in over a month. Yeah, I don’t know what to do anymore. Yeah, I’m hopeless. Yeah, I’m confused. Yeah, one minute I want to smile and the next I want to sob. Bottom line is that I’m going through a lot and I’m trying to keep it together but I don’t know how. Maybe this is trying to make me stronger. But I feel no progress. I miss my boyfriend every night before I go to sleep and every morning when I wake up, but today he really made everything better. I don’t know what I would have done without him and I think when everything’s said and done, that’s the only thing that matters. I love you, so much, with everything inside of me, and I thank you so much for being the boyfriend that you are. The one thing that can never, never, never be questioned is your care and love for me and I thank you so much for that. I don’t know what else to say except I love you and thank you. I know we need to work on things but there’s no one else I want to do it with than with you.
Nobody fucking talks to me that way.